Curmudgeons Anonymous

There is a bright new movement, being born in Arizona (of all places), called “Curmudgeons Anonymous”.  You will start to notice the members, around the world, wearing their member T-shirts, reading, “A proud member of Curmudgeons Anonymous.”  A curmudgeon is normally defined as a white, elderly male, unhappy with his world and the direction that he sees it going, but not prone to do anything constructive about it.  We are second only to the United States Congress, as a group of elderly white males, sworn to accomplish nothing.

The T-shirts will be available in red, for conservative members.  Blue, for the liberals.  Green, for the tree huggers and gray to identify associate members.  The gray T-shirted, non-voting, associates are either politically undecided, or men of color.  As you can see, we don’t exclude any male, over 65 and retired who spends a good percentage of their waking hours complaining.  We will also allow associate membership to someone who is employed, if along with their application they will include a letter from their employer, stating that they are an elderly disgruntled employee.  Any member of the group is allowed to take individual action, politically or otherwise, against anything, but doing so with your Curmudgeons Anonymous T-shirt on, or in unison with any other member or members, is strictly forbidden.  Elderly men of religion (the gullible) are offered full membership, with voting rights.  How is that for being open-minded?  Voting rights are not all that important, as the group takes no action.

You will be seeing Curmudgeons Anonymous discussion groups whining around the world, in coffee shops or bars and library meeting rooms.  We will be complaining about anything and everything, including our individual health and the doctors that we are forced to endure.

The membership fee is $10 for full members and $12 for associate members.  The fee is required as often as you feel that you need a new T-shirt.  The membership does include a new Beefy Tee shirt, with the group logo on the front and nothing on the back.  Please don’t send cash, stamps, a check, a credit card authorization, until the T-shirts are ready.  I’ll let you know when they are and where to send the payment.  For you young men who would like to join the organization, sorry, but at least you now have something to look forward to as you grow older and less effective.

Cheers, Old Buz, Founder and Chairman of Curmudgeons Anonymous  

"You Tomorrow"

A couple of posts ago, in this blog, a kindly reader named John, commented, “You are now officially a curmudgeon!  Congratulations!”  If you take a look at Webster’s New World Dictionary, the definition of curmudgeon is: a surly, ill-mannered, bad-tempered person; cantankerous fellow.  Most other sources add the word elderly.   Now if the definition were simply, a cantankerous, elderly fellow, it would be pretty close.  Surly, ill-mannered and bad tempered really don’t apply.  (But, if a pessimist living in his seventh decade is all that is required, congratulations were in order.)  The comment was made after the post titled, “HR 20….” And, HR 20 is in fact a stupid piece of legislation, co-sponsored by most of the Democrats in The House.  You need only to read it and see who co-sponsored it, in order to see that my criticisms of it are valid.  It would have been nice if the Democrats who co-signed the bill had read it first.  They simply cannot be dumb enough to think that HR 20 is a good piece of legislation for campaign reform.  It is a major increase in campaign spending.  You see, “they simply cannot be dumb enough” is a compliment and would certainly not be said by a curmudgeon.

 

In a logic class, while at Loyola University, I learned that appealing to one’s prejudices rather than to reason, as by attacking one’s opponent rather than debating the issue, is the fallacy of ad hominem.  Ad hominem is constantly seen on our TV editorials (cable news programs), talk radio and in far right and far left emails.  A good example, that is way overused, is comparing anyone to Hitler.  I don’t know that John read enough of my blog posts to know my age before his comment, so for all he knew, I may have been simply a pessimist (realist).  John, please read H.R. 20 and see if you can find any error in my analysis.  I would love to hear it.

You may ask why, “You Tomorrow” as a title?  It’s a warning.   My life trajectory has been: good student, to non-believer, to activist, to lobbyist, to realist, to pessimist, to John’s curmudgeon.  I would guess that the simple majority tend to see an elderly male pessimist as a curmudgeon.  I kind of like the title, see it as a badge of courage and awareness, but if you don’t, and are a middle aged pessimist, you had best mend your ways.  You women reading this don’t need to worry; because the term is normally applied to males.

Comments are welcome, Old Buz