"Schlonged"

When Donald Trump said, “She (Hillary Clinton) was favored to win (in 2008) and she got schlonged; she lost,” in a recent stump speech, he later claimed on Twitter that the word “schlonged” was not vulgar.  He wrote: “Schlonged is not vulgar.  When I said Hillary got ‘schlonged’ that meant beaten badly.”

 

As an expert on Yiddish slang and swear words, I feel obligated to correct him.  My expertise is the result of attending a high school in a Jewish ghetto in West Los Angeles.  Our high school was populated by over 80% Jewish students.  Our class poll deemed me “Best Sense of Humor.”  This honor would tend to confirm my familiarity with Yiddish slang.

The word schlong is used to describe the penis and it implies a large one.  The English translation would be cock.  It is a noun and is not used as a verb.  If Trump had an English professor in college, who happened to be Jewish, and Donald used the term “schlonged” in a paper, he would have been corrected.  The word schlong is used to describe a tool for joy, not for defeat.  “Schlonged” is not a word.  Just ask your spellchecker.

There are words that are Yiddish synonyms for the male organ that are indeed derogatory.  I’m sure that Mr. Trump heard these words whispered each time he passed a table occupied by Jews in a fine restaurant.  The words are “schmuck” and “putz”.  He heard them in high school and college, as well.  Any Jew that knows him well would use one of these two words to describe him.  Both words are nouns and are not turned into verbs by adding “ed” to the end of them.

If you call someone a putz, you are calling them an inconsequential fool.  If you refer to them as a schmuck, it better translates to a dishonest bastard.  I would guess that Donald heard schmuck more often than putz from his Jewish acquaintances.

   

If you conclude from this blog post that I don’t believe that Donald Trump would lead and represent our nation well … you are very perceptive.  If you believe that Trump would be a great President … I doubt that you read my blogs.   I know that you wouldn’t have made it through this one.

Cheers, Old Buz

Comments Welcome  

God, The Original Terrorist

Please know that this post is not written to offend intelligent people, those who believe that GOD (the Grand Omnipotent DNA), is the system of the Universe.  It is written to offend the simple majority, “True Believers” who believe in the literal God of the Bible.

An early act of terrorism performed by The Biblical God and some Angels under His command, is the act of Passover, celebrated by Jews and condoned by all Western Religions using the Old Testament as the foundation of their own bibles.   It involved flying over Egypt and murdering the first born sons of every Egyptian family.  These innocent victims had no TV or daily newspaper to inform them of the negotiations taking place between Moses and Pharaoh.  During the week that preceded the first Passover, God also killed the cows of Egypt.  You can’t get much more innocent than being a cow standing around chewing on some grass.

Before this there was the Noah Terrorism Act of God.  He killed every living being on Earth, other than a pair of each species that Noah let on the boat.  Noah allowed some of the folks in his family on the boat too.  Nepotism.  Now ask yourself, were all of the critters not on the boat sinners?  Even you True Believers know that they weren’t.  I mean … little bunnies and kittens … sinners!  No reader, this was the biggest act of terror ever. 

And you would think that The Lord’s kid, Jesus, might soften up.  But no, He decrees that the only way to Heaven is through Him.  So no thinking, reasoning people are going to Heaven!  Only the True Believers, the gullible, are going up.  Those of you who say, “I kind of doubt it” are going down to burn and it is for eternity.  No reincarnation in The Western World.  How is that for an unjust act of terror?  I guess that it runs in the family.  The bad seed.

Now how about ISIS?  They murder innocents in the name of God (Allah).  Are they any different than the ancient armies of The Israelites, who God told to march down into Channon and kill anything that breaths in and out, or more recently the Crusaders?  When George W. Bush was asked in a TV interview if he consulted his father before the Iraqi War, his answer was, “No, I consulted The Father.”  So, I guess you can blame our terrorist War in Iraq on God.

Please fact check me on this post.  Use The Holy Bible as a reference.  For the war in Iraq, use your memory (unless you watch FOX News).  For you True Believers, who believe that this blog will certainly send me to Hell, I doubt anyone ever went to Hell for telling the truth.  Both war and terrorism are the murder of innocents.

Cheers, Old Buz

Comments are welcome.