There is a
bright new movement, being born in Arizona (of all places), called “Curmudgeons
Anonymous”. You will start to notice the
members, around the world, wearing their member T-shirts, reading, “A proud
member of Curmudgeons Anonymous.” A curmudgeon is normally defined as a white, elderly
male, unhappy with his world and the
direction that he sees it going, but not prone to do anything constructive
about it. We are second only to the
United States Congress, as a group of elderly white males, sworn to accomplish
nothing.
The T-shirts
will be available in red, for conservative members. Blue, for the liberals. Green, for the tree huggers and gray to
identify associate members. The gray
T-shirted, non-voting, associates are either politically undecided, or men of
color. As you can see, we don’t exclude any
male, over 65 and retired who spends a good percentage of their waking hours
complaining. We will also allow
associate membership to someone who is employed, if along with their
application they will include a letter from their employer, stating that they
are an elderly disgruntled employee. Any
member of the group is allowed to take individual action, politically or
otherwise, against anything, but doing so with your Curmudgeons Anonymous
T-shirt on, or in unison with any other member or members, is strictly forbidden. Elderly men of religion (the gullible) are
offered full membership, with voting rights.
How is that for being open-minded?
Voting rights are not all that important, as the group takes no action.
You will be
seeing Curmudgeons Anonymous discussion groups whining around the world, in
coffee shops or bars and library meeting rooms.
We will be complaining about anything and everything, including our
individual health and the doctors that we are forced to endure.
The
membership fee is $10 for full members and $12 for associate members. The fee is required as often as you feel that
you need a new T-shirt. The membership
does include a new Beefy Tee shirt, with the group logo on the front and
nothing on the back. Please don’t send
cash, stamps, a check, a credit card authorization, until the T-shirts are
ready. I’ll let you know when they are
and where to send the payment. For you
young men who would like to join the organization, sorry, but at least you now
have something to look forward to as you grow older and less effective.
Cheers, Old
Buz, Founder and Chairman of Curmudgeons Anonymous
